#king arthurs disasters

[jellofangy]

Lol isn't it so hard sharing your favourite things to personal people in your life when your brain is 80% low self-esteem, inner embarrassment and anxiety?

[dcdreamblog]

I've teased you with it before, but now we need a full writeup. Justice League Antarctica?

If I was a man prone to drinking I want you all to imagine this is the moment where I am approached, grizzled and sitting at a bar. Upon hearing those words in that order I neck my shot and sincerely consider throwing myself through the plate glass window.

And yet I do not drink and live FAR too high up for that, so here we go.

(This AMAZING photograph uploaded to what I am going to respectfully call the JLAnt's "website" still up and running from the dial up age)

The "JLAnt" as they are semi affectionately known can be traced back to one Paul Booker, enemy to the Green Lantern under the name Major Disaster due to his ability to cause natural disasters and accidents of probability at will. On his then most recent escape from prison he heard the news announcing the foundation of the then untested Justice League International. Assembling a group of C List or below supervillains including:

Big Sir: AKA David Ratchet, not so much a supervillain but a man of low mental faculties due to an engorged brain gland leaving him easily manipulated but superhumanly strong

Clock King: AKA William Tockman, a normal human whose obsession with time and time pieces resulted in a large array of clock themed gadgetry

Cluemaster: AKA Arthur Brown, sort of a Temu version of the Riddler, a failed game show host trying to make himself feared as the second best user of his own gimmick

Mighty Bruce: An unknown small time criminal who had befriended Booker and seemed to only be there for moral support.

and Multi-Man: AKA Duncan Pramble, an archeological assistant exposed to an unknown chemical compound allowing him to revive with a new set of superpowers every time he medically dies.

Forming themselves under the well worn "Injustice League" name the groups clashed in the aftermath of the Dominator invasion and the Injustice League was pretty sharply put down, causing the members to scatter for a few months. It wasn't until they all happened to be at an unemployment office in New York City that Booker tried to restart the idea with the theft of a valuable diamond. With a truly ghastly accident of fate the villains arrived at the same moment another group of thieves were attempting to make off with the gem. Battling the other group over rights to the treasure the Injustice League triumphed just as the police and media arrived in response to the museum's silent alarm. Because none of the villains were very well known or seriously feared they were quickly spun as having turned over a new leaf, an idea that excited Booker to some degree. Whether in genuine excitement for an off ramp to his criminal life considering his later trajectory or some kind of con taking shape in his mind's eye we may never know. Pleading his case to the JLI's at the time manager Maxwell Lord, he decided to kill two birds with one stone. Appointing the inexperience alien Green Lantern G'nort as 'leader' and sending the group to found a new Antarctic branch of the JLI, probably assuming that the desolate continent would keep them out of sight, out of mind and out of trouble.

Until about an hour after the group turned up and discovered a research station overrun with maneating mutant penguins because sometimes life has a VERY avant garde sense of humor. The group battled the foul fowl and with some late assistance from the JLI and the JLE managed to contain the threat but their...less than stellar performance left Lord thoroughly frustrated, laying off the group with a month's advance pay and a kick in the rear on their way out.

It really is one of those little farces of history, a bunch of no name criminals who happened to be in the right place at the right time. Twice, and got themselves into a comedy of errors that would be hackneyed if it ever showed up in print.

Most of its members were scooped up by the Suicide Squad under unknown circumstances and perished along the way but Major Disaster seemed to have been genuinely bitten by the hero bug at some point along the way and he joined a short lived "substitute" Justice League that turned into a real position for the man. He remains in the JLA's reserves to this day, has been a part of their Justice League Unlimited initiative and seems more than happy keeping himself out of trouble...ironically.

[gingersnaptaff]

To get over my depression I am making cawl because my body craves soup. I have decided to make it as Welsh as possible by blasting an audiobook of The Mabinogion alongside it.

Anyways, come get ur cawl.

[nostalgiamare]

NOSTALGIAMARE ENTRY 40

NAME: KING ARTHUR'S DISASTERS

COMPANY/FRANCHISE: CITV

NICKELODEON UK

NEPTUNO FILMS

CAKE ENTERTAINMENT

CATEGORY: TV SERIES (ANIMATED)

YEAR: 2005

DESCRIPTION: A BAFTA nominated parody of the Arthurian legends complete with some 20th century influences. The show follows King Arthur who is sent on quests by the Princess Guinevere in order to retrieve a valuable item in exchange for the princess's hand in marriage. Usually accompanied by Merlin the sorcerer, Arthur and his companions often find themselves surrounded by ridiculous hijinks, death-defying dangers and "dark forces" just to meet their goal. The series also features Arthur coming face to face with many rivals that will foil his endeavours, most regularly the rebellious and arrogant Sir Lancelot, his slightly ditzy and spontaneous samurai partner Sir Martyn, and the overly-exuberant and showy Robin Hood.

MOD THOUGHTS:

1: How to make your low budget and initially weak show win the hearts of the public:

Step 1: Get Rik Mayall on board with the project.

Step 2: Have fun soaking in the ratings.

2: Watching this show is like playing a drinking game. Take a shot every time:

Merlin goes on about "DARK FORCES!!!"

Lancelot says "Oh blow/double blow!"

King Arthur acts like a simp

Guinevere is a totally spoiled girlboss and girlfailure (because she's both)

Guinevere isn't satisfied with what Arthur gets her

Robin Hood sings

Anyone gets hurt

The cast visibly carries the show on their backs

3: (An almost word for word exchange from episode 2)

Arthur: When will we marry?

Guinevere: Uh soon my dear.

Arthur: Ha! Excellent! Then it's settled. And don't worry about the cost, I know a priest who owes me a favour.

Guinevere: Uh, no wait wait your majesty wait!

Arthur: What?

Guinevere: Have you remembered to ask my father?

Arthur: Your father?

Any Arthurian fans out there, tell me if this is the first time Arthur's expressing bicurious thoughts and is this enough proof to say that he's not straight.

LINK TO SOURCE: https://www.wco.tv/anime/king-arthurs-disasters

[evilhorse]

Justice League International #23

[sophsweet]

Lost Documents from the Early Days of Christendom

The Lost Stories of Early Christendom: Gildas, Arthur, and Glastonbury A friend referred me to Youtube videos, And Did Those Feet (pt 1 and 2) and Light In The West – Jesus “lost years” and Joseph of Arimathea in Britain, which inspired me to read more. Lionel Smithett Lewis, in his book St. Joseph of Arimathea at Glastonbury, suggests that the 12th-century historian William of Malmesbury…

[shanastoryteller]

Happy Valentines (or related holiday) to you! More merthur role reversal, please and thank you!

a continuation of 1

Arthur's people are dying and he's disobeying his king's orders.

He hadn't got the wizard's name who'd been a complete disaster in the market, knocking over a whole stall by tripping on his own two feet - it hadn't seemed important. Then he'd seen him again in the great hall and he'd been halway through the most awkward apology Arthur's ever heard when the guy's got a knife to his throat.

He's not supposed to draw attention to himself, but it's not like he's going to stand there and watch the guy get killed. It's not even hard, it's a flick of the wrist, and then it's over.

Except it turns out the klutz from the market is the prince.

The prince he's supposed to kill.

Getting assigned his manservant should be a good thing. It gives him access to him and the queen both. Killing them will be nothing. It'll be easy. He can do it and be back home long before Balinor gets back.

He agreed to do this because it was supposed to end the war.

But having met them -

He could do it for his people if it saved them. He's done worse.

It's just that he's not so sure his father's right anymore.

[gawrkin]

Dietrich also lives all the way to King Arthur's reign - the historical Theodoric dies 527 - and once tried to marry his daughter, Hilde. But then the Mordred/Tristan/Lancelot thing happened instead where Hilde ran off instead with Dietrich's nephew, Herbart. Unlike Mark and Arthur, Dietrich was like "nah" and moves on.

Callout post to Dietrich Von Bern/Theodoric the Great/Tidrik Tattneson/Whatever his name even is

For being so ridiculously Extra™ all the fucking time.

I mean, seriously. He needs to fucking chill.

Spends thirty fucking years in exile. There’s no actual historical reason why he should ever go into exile.

Uses the exile thing as an excues to chill at Attila’s court apparently for years on end. Like. Attila the Hun. That is not how history works, Dietrich. You’re like chilling with a ghost, Dietrich.

Probably never even payed Attila the Ghost the rent, let’s be real. For years. Well, unless you count marrying his wife’s niece as paying the rent or something, I guess.

Fought with the Burgundians. Then fought against the Burgundians. Then went and fought the Burgundians some more. Just leave the Burgundians alone, Dietrich. They’re ghosts, too. Let them rest in peace.

Defeated Siegfried (like, Fafnir’s bane Siegfried, skin of horn Siegfried, you don’t  just defeat Siegfried Siegfried, Siegfried the… well, okay, that Siegfried) at least twice. At least.

Fights dwarves. Like, why. What kind of hero runs around fighting dwarves.

Fights giants, too. Which sounds more normal, but- like, I don’t mean to kinkshame but, do you have some sort of size kink when it comes to fighting, Dietrich.

(Keeps getting imprisoned by giants, by the way. Maybe it’s better if you just go back to fighting dwarves, Dietrich.)

Also fights wild men. Who are, like, men who run around in the wild. They wander into the woods and they are hairy and want to fight, basically. If this doesn’t prove Dietrich will just fight anyone, I don’t know what does.

Can turn into a goddamn dragon to breathe fire.

Can apparently breathe fire even without turning into a dragon. Which means he just turns into a dragon because that’s cooler. I told you he was fucking  Extra™.

Still fights dragons, though. What a hypocrite. (And possible cultural appropriator? *dramatic music plays in the background*)

Literally doesn’t die. Like. He just doesn’t. Because death is not cool enough for him, probably.

Instead, the Devil himself turns into a very cool and totally metal giant black horse from Hell, gets Dietrich to ride him, basically kidnaps him, and then drops him into Mount Etna to let him fall directly into the entrance of Hell. 

Either that, or Satan the Cool Horse drags him to some desert somewhere (or was it Romagna…? My Italian ass wants some answers, Dietrich!) and makes him fight dragons until the end of the world.

He stills finds time to lead the Wild Hunt, though. Which is actually the least  Extra™ thing he’s ever done, all things considered, since pretty much every single mythological/legendary figure ends up leading the Wild Hunt at some point in their life or death or un-death.

Constantly appears in pretty much every single Germanic or Norse poem, saga, or legend. No, seriously, he’s everywhere. You take a look around yourself, you’re surrounded by an army of Dietrichs von Bern.

By the way, he’s probably right behind you in this very moment. Just don’t make him angry enough to breathe fire at you and everything should be okay.

[jellofangy]

Omg guys look at this still I found from a scrapped King Arthur's Disasters episode!

AKA: When you have an art block and decide to escape from it by drawing the first thing that pops into your head.

[justaz]

merlin: this is a bad idea. like one of your worst ones yet. i'm telling you, we should just do what i say. this is gonna be a disaster.

arthur: oh come on merlin, don't be so dramatic.

*the bad thing that merlin said would happen happens. they fix it. it's fine*

merlin, smug: so-

arthur, tired: don't start.

merlin, even more smug: don't start what? all i'm saying is that i'm glad everything worked out alright. though if you had listened to me earlier the entire thing could've been avoided.

arthur, staring a hole into merlin's head:

merlin, staring right back: ...i told you so.

arthur: i got that. thank you.

*merlin hums and wanders off. arthur watches him. slowly a smile spreads across his face*

arthur, murmuring to himself: he is the most insufferable man i've ever met.

*arthur giving order after order to merlin. cuts himself off and informs merlin that visitors are arriving tomorrow so he should get started on preparations. merlin is annoyed and tries to argue back*

arthur: just do as i say. i'm your king after all.

merlin: a prat is what you are.

arthur, already walking away: that's treason!

*merlin stares as arthur walks off and runs into some of his knights down the hall. they chat for a moment and arthur says something that makes them laugh. he turns to look over his shoulder at merlin with a grin and a wave before turning back to the conversation*

merlin, fighting his own grin: he's the most infuriating man i've ever met.

[gingersnaptaff]

I wanted to get the Gawain smut put tonight but I am v tired and v headachey so I am gonna go and sleep. However, if u want to, u can yell at me about random shit in my askbox or whatever and I can respond when I am not dead. 🫡🫡🫡

Also here's a really good article I was reading about using the Welsh language in your fiction.

[nostalgiamare]

Coming up next on Nostalgiamare: DAAARRRKKK FOOORRRCCCEEESSS

(No poll for the upcoming entry this time. But don't go away, because I've got one planned for the following entry after!)

[rock-a-noodle]

Rules: Make a poll of your favorite female characters (no limits - as many or as little as you want) and see which your followers like the most! Stole this.

And tagging-

@bizarrelovesquare @melancholywave

[theroundbartable]

Merlin: hey

Arthur: *internally* okay, okay. Be cool. Say something cool, or smart! No, you're not smart, you'll just sound stupid. You're the King, be cool.

Arthur: sup

Arthur: *internally* sup?you've never said sup in your entire life! This isn't cool, this is a disaster!!!

Arthur: I mean... Hey

Merlin: *smiles*

Arthur: *internally* oh yes, I'm dead

[estazolam]

Maybe a prompt that I discuss with friend

(I don't know what to call this idea.And I use the translator to express my thoughts, Please don't mind my grammar.🥺)

Inspired by Hades(videogame)

if Arthur wakes up inside Avalon after being sent there, and learns that he can't go back, he decides to build a new Camelot inside Avalon with the support of Freya and Lancelot.

It was not difficult to suppress some unfriendly magical creatures with Excalibur. Arthur broke through the siege and briefly walked out of the Gate of Avalon to meet Merlin who was waiting by the lake. Every time he was captured by Avalon's magic and brought back to New Camelot, it was like drowning, but Arthur could endure the pain in order to meet Merlin.

Merlin cannot enter Avalon because of his immortality. In fact, Excalibur can "kill" him, but neither of them knows this. Merlin can't bear to see Arthur suffer like this. After asking the dragon about this, he resolutely decides to let Arthur stab him with the sword the next time he sees Arthur.

After repeatedly confirming that Merlin would not disappear, Arthur stabbed the sword into Merlin's body with tears, hugged his lover and boarded the ship to Avalon, and started a new life in the new Camelot. Arthur became the King of Avalon, and Merlin became his consort.

My drawing for this idea. Merlin's wounds slowly healed as the ship entered Avalon. In fact, neither of them was truly dead.They are the only two people who can enter and leave Avalon at will.

When a magical disaster occurs in the world of the living, the two of them can still rely on Merlin's magic to appear and solve the problem, and even appear directly in the new Camelot in Avalon after an unexpected "death".

Arthur occasionally sent Merlin, who could transform into a little dragon, out hunting. Merlin didn't like hunting but would still bring back a few rabbits, and would pass by Camelot on the ground and take away an roasted chicken from the royal kitchen,

The cook(who is used to it)：……

When passing by a tavern, he would drop off a few silver coins and bring back some mead for Gwaine of Avalon,hunting just became shopping.

A long time has passed, so long that almost all of Camelot's friends have come to Avalon, and the throne has been passed down for many generations. Merlin, who has become a little dragon, still occasionally appears to take away some food and ale and leave silver coins, just like some fairy tales and folk tales.

Still the art I drew for this idea. The painting style imitates Hades,the dialog box also comes from Hades. The background paradise Avalon comes from fate/grand order.

As magic in the human world dwindled, magical creatures gradually entered Avalon to seek the protection of Emrys.Magic gradually faded out of the human world and came to Avalon.

In modern times, Merlin occasionally goes with Arthur to visit museum exhibitions on the legend of King Arthur. They wear modern clothes and stand in front of the relics to talk about funny things in the past. Merlin also buys some small statues of them and puts them together with the wooden dragon given by his father when he returns to Avalon.

They lived happily.

[rockthrowingbutch]

Reading Le Morte d’Arthur for the first time. Impressions of the characters so far (I’ll update as I go along):

- King Urther: A real bastard

- King Arthur: World’s Biggest Doofus™

- Merlin: What’s a little war crimes between friends?

- Kings Ban & Bors: Gotta have lackeys

- Sir Balin & Balan: World’s Second & Third Biggest Doofus’s™

- The Mysterious Damsel who gives Balin his cursed sword: Is there a funnier way of getting revenge than offering them a cursed sword, telling them it’s a cursed sword, offering to take it back before the curse affects them, and then just leaving with a shrug when they decide to keep it?

- King Pellam: Having your junk stabbed off with the same spear that stabbed Jesus has got to be a real complicated experience for a devout Christian

- King Pellinor: The Questing Beast is a giraffe right? Pellior’s family has just been hunting a giraffe through the woods of Britain for generations, right?

- King Lot: I feel like he has valid reason to be pissed

- Lady(/Ladies?)of the Lake: Just how many of these soggy dames are there? Love the one who handles Merlin’s unwanted affections by having him teach her magic and then dropping a rock on him. This guy bothering you? Drop a rock on him!

- Queens Igraine & Morgause: These poor women

- Mordred: This poor kid

- Morgan Le Fay: Love her

- Sir Gawain: Extremely messy bisexual disaster who should not be allowed to handle sharp objects

- Sir Yvain: Love the way he reacts to being woken up by the news that his mom is about to murder his dad with the same energy as a cat owner hearing retching in the dark.

- Sir Accolon: Good help is hard to find

- Sir Tor: The Only Normal Guy™

- Sir Lancelot: Has been mentioned approximately 600 times and hasn’t even appeared in the story yet. UPDATE: He has finally appeared! You ever accidentally become important at your job because you had thrown yourself into work in order to distract from an unrequited crush on a married woman? Who hasn’t?

Sir Gareth/Beaumains: Boy is determined to get 100% on hard mode

Favorite part so far: Merlin’s repeated habit of providing Arthur with important information while in disguise. He has done this like five times now and Arthur never catches on. He tries it once on Balin & Balan, who are not the sharpest swords in the scabbard themselves, and they catch on right away but Arthur is just continually falls for it.

Favorite line so far: “For he was so full of Knighthood that, knightly, he withstood the pain”